Who Took My Map?

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I have no idea which way to go. Every choice is going to be a long winding journey, and right now they all look the same. I am not even certain there is a “right” direction, or if there is success and security down any of these paths. I just need to take the first step, but which way?

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4 thoughts on “Who Took My Map?

  1. Well, sometimes there are no truly right answers. I don’t know if this will help at all, but I look at these kinds of decisions like this: A hallway full of closed doors rather than a labyrinth of confusing turns. It’s a matter of choosing which room and not all the doors are even unlocked. So, it’s about knocking on doors and trying to open doors. Sometimes what’s behind the doors is very unappealing. This becomes a way to organize information about a situation. The Red Door, for example, isn’t even unlocked so I can’t go in there, and The Red Door might represent an option that isn’t available to you so you just walk by it. The Blue Door might be an option that is available to you and behind that door is a room that you could even go in. And then you can imagine what your life would look like behind The Blue Door. And you can keep moving, organizing your options into doors and rooms, rather than twists and turns. For me, this removes the urgency, the gravitas, and the “should” of some of the decision making when I don’t know what to do because it shows me that I can always leave a room. Is there any room that I can never leave? Is any decision irreversible? If I go into a room will I be forever locked out of the hall? This is how I stop anxious thinking surrounding decision making because imagining myself turning here, then there, causes me to feel lost in chaos, and then I’ll wonder how I’ll ever undo what I’ve just done or get back to where I started. And that’s just a thought process undertaken before I’ve actually done a thing.

    • I know you are right I have just become frustrated and overwhelmed by the process. I made a couple decisions when I was in my late teens and early twenties that led me down a path that would have few options. Had things worked out as planned this would have been fine, but alas it wasn’t to be. The first decision isn’t such a big deal I was young and there was no reason to believe it wouldn’t work out. When it did fall apart I found myself in a position to reset and really change the direction of my life and I chose another narrow path with no options. I made this choice knowing full well that I would face many of the same obstacles. Looking back at it it was almost a forgone conclusion that I would end up where I stand today, but then I didn’t see it. I followed my heart without using me head. Now I feel I have clearly identified the problem, but the solution has proven elusive and my options are limited by the realities of adulthood. I am stuck and I just cant see a clear path out.

      • I work with a brilliant man who is plagued by “brain stuff” much like most of people in my life. I heard him verbally processing once–trying to problem solve. He said, “The solution to the problem is either A which is blah, blah, blah, B which is blah, blah, or C.” I responded, “Well…what is C?” He looked intently at the ceiling and said, “I haven’t thought of C yet, but it exists.” Brilliant. It’s brilliant. He, too, felt stuck with A and B because he didn’t like A and B. He liked C. He wanted C. He just hadn’t thought of C yet. A better solution hadn’t presented itself yet, but his open-ended thinking allowed for C to exist, thus, preventing him from feeling stuck and discouraged. I learned a lot from him in that moment. Maybe it can be the same for you. You don’t like A and B. Or maybe you just have an A, and you don’t like it. BUT, if you change your perspective, sit still for a bit, B or C or what have you might present itself. You just haven’t thought of it yet and circumstances haven’t allowed for it yet. But, nothing in life is static. We get very used to life changing in the blink of an eye for the worse like the Sandy Hook shootings. But, how often do we get used to life changing in the blink of an eye…for the better? Or just for the *different*? That’s possible, too, you know.

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