Another week brings another source of stress. As one fire gets put out at work another flares up. I have spent the week demanding that my boss contact several of my customers and talk with them. Tell them something, anything really, but take some of the pressure off me. I told him straight up that I have no problem facing the music when I created the problems. I have broad shoulders, but I am being buried by a shit storm that he made. He seemed to get it and made a couple calls for me. They guys I work for aren’t bad guys, they just aren’t the savviest businessmen you ever met.
Speaking of shit storms my pain in the ass neighbor did not respond to requests from the town manager to sit down and try to talk through this outside of a town council setting. I was encouraged a couple days ago when I was approached by the one neighbor I hadn’t spoken to about the situation. I was concerned that he may agree with her so i just didn’t bring it up with him. Turns out he didn’t even know it had gone so far as to get into town politics. He had just seen the snarky commentary of Facebook. His analysis was that she is certifiable. I was somewhat buoyed by the unexpected support, but my stomach is in knots as I await tonight’s meeting. It frustrates me that I can get ill over a meeting that will be a formality leading up to the real show down. It also irritates me that she has the power to get me all twisted up. I am teetering on the verge of a tactless rant here so moving on…
The new stressor comes straight from my home life. We have a family dog. She is an eight year old yellow lab. Three years ago she blew out the ACL in her left knee. She was a very high energy animal and we could not keep her calm during the recovery which led her to blow out the repair and it had to be done second time. The extended time on steroids and doggie downers did a number of her liver and her blood work has not been normal since the surgery. The vet wanted to explore the liver problem, but we decided to take a wait and see approach. This past Sunday she tore the ACL on the right side. She did it walking up the steps on the front porch. No falling, no running, no anything, just pop. I missed work on Monday to take her to vet and we are facing another expensive surgery, but this time they cant do it until the know the deal with her liver. Bring on the testing and break out the credit card. It is not the actual injury to the dog that is the problem in my head, rather the uncertainty regarding a course of action. The first liver tests should be back tomorrow, but there are more next week. In the meantime I have a dog hobbling around on three legs with a mysterious liver ailment and know idea what is going to happen. The anticipation is the worst part for a brain that is driven my anxiety.
They say it is darkest just before the dawn, but there is no guarantee that this is as dark as it is going to get. In truth I can see a number of ways that this will likely get worse before it is better. What is certain is that eventually it will get better. Eventually. To remind myself and some of my readers whom I know have already been pushed further than they thought they could go here is a song to help us remember that this to shall pass.